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Family and Children's
Resource Program

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Vol. 28, No. 2
July 2025

Resilience Aids Crucial Conversations

Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from adversity. But it is also more than that, it is the ability to maintain clarity, emotional regulation, and purpose under pressure. When the stakes are high, our fight-or-flight instincts kick in. Without resilience, we risk shutting down, lashing out, or avoiding crucial conversations.

Resilience helps us stay grounded. It gives us the strength to navigate discomfort, absorb feedback without being defensive, and respond instead of reacting. It transforms emotionally charged interactions into opportunities for connection and growth. When we are resilient, we take the time to pause, listen actively, and consider the other person's perspective. That can help us see the bigger picture and stay curious instead of combative.

Understanding the connection between resilience and effective work with children and families, Buncombe County Health and Human Services (BCHHS) has created CARE Tyme. To learn more about this resiliency-boosting program, which stands for Communication Around Recent Events (Tyme is not an acronym), Practice Notes spoke with Buncombe's Alexis Danciu, who helped found the program, and Anna Meyer, who facilitates it.

CARE Tyme

According to Danciu, a Quality Assurance and Performance Specialist with BCHHS, the idea for CARE Tyme arose when she and others were being trained in critical incident stress management so they could support first responders. During the training, it became obvious to everyone that child welfare and other social work staff also experience critical incidents and need support.

Like critical incident stress management, CARE Tyme initially focused on supporting staff through specific incidents. However, because child welfare staff are significantly impacted by the secondary trauma, the program evolved to also focus on supporting staff experiencing cumulative stress.

Headshot image of Alexis Danciu

Alexis Danciu

BCHHS offers two CARE Tyme groups, one for children's services and one for adult services. Both aim to provide a safe, confidential space where staff can connect with peers and receive support for processing experiences affecting them. In each meeting, participants are asked how they can be better supported. The goal is for staff to feel better and more positive after each meeting. Groups meet once or twice a month, depending on need/demand.

Anna Meyer, Neutral Facilitator and Resiliency Coordinator with BCHHS, facilitates the groups. Like Danciu, Meyer is trained in the Reconnect for Resilience model, which teaches trauma-informed skills to help individuals and communities build resilience and manage stress. Modeling those strategies, Meyer works to ensure staff feel physically and psychologically safe enough to participate in CARE Tyme groups, during which they discuss ideas to support physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. CARE Tyme group activities can include mindfulness exercises (deep breathing, stretching) and guided visualization; reading poetry; sharing online resources; and engaging in other stress relieving activities (e.g., massage, interacting with puppies from a local shelter).

Buncombe County Health and Human Services surveys staff agency-wide about resiliency. Staff are asked about their stress level, work satisfaction, if they feel safe at work, and what impacts their stress level (i.e., caseloads, peer relationships, supervisors, etc.). The agency uses this data to inform what it does to support staff.

Meyer and Danciu admit investing time in CARE Tyme is not always easy. When staff workload increases, it can be difficult for them to prioritize self-care/attending a group. Also, it can be challenging to facilitate meetings when things come up that cannot be resolved in the group (e.g., larger systemic child welfare issues).

Even with occasional challenges, Meyer says, "What we're doing is being seen and recognized as valuable...Other departments within Buncombe County Government have called us to assist in supporting their staff. It feels really good."

Danciu says she has appreciated it when staff have reached out to her directly, because it means they trust her and know they can ask her for support. Most of all, she has appreciated seeing staff who attend a group being more at peace, laughing, and positive.

Feeling resilient does not make crucial conversations easier, but it makes us better prepared to handle them with intention and care. It gives us the courage to show up, the strength to stay present, and the wisdom to create meaningful dialogue-even when we are uncomfortable.

If you would like to contact Alexis Danciu or Anna Meyer with Buncombe County Health and Human Services, you can email them at dl-resiliencycoordinators@buncombecounty.org.

References for this and other articles in this issue